Fuddled and confused...

Help... I am quite confused with what I see around me. Make no mistake, Nature is at its best. The skeletal trees are now sprouting buds in vivid colours. Spring in the US comes wearing fluorescent green, sunshine yellow, Wine red, Beautiful pink and would you believe it!, white. To actually see white leaves or pink leaves transform into green is magical. Going to Disney world and discovering you are Cinderella :) That magical!!

What confuses me is not Nature but us Homo sapiens. I find 99% people utterly boring, lifeless, bourgeois. Low class parasites.. Narrow views, bad attitude...I do know..I trained as an HR where it has been my job to evaluate mental and emotional intelligence. Mental Intelligence abounds but people seem to be crippled emotionally.

To make up for it, I have to start packing the punches to enliven the atmosphere. Why are people so dreary? commonplace? I do talk about women..I don't know what men talk about..As far as I could make out from Bish and his colleagues/friends, the men talk about work, gadgets and sports. I have never heard them speak about women but then they wouldn't...in front of us women, would they? :)

We women are condemned to be petty minded, banal, bickering and ghoulish. Not all of us mind it!!! But most.. I have been spoilt by inspiring, amazing and intelligent women in the first two decades of my life. But the third decade has been disappointing to say the least. I can't remember having an intelligent conversation in ages. I no longer know what's the political wind like in India, or if the healthcare reforms in US are truly path-breaking because I am forced to discuss children, weather, dresses, even jewellery these days.

And of course who can escape the great girly attribute of gossiping and commenting on everything and everyone under the sky. Recently I was able to witness how a simple statement got passed around with so much added masala, the Indian chefs would get high BP digesting it. So of course I try to stay away from such people. The more I try the more keen they are to attach themselves. Why?

Why do they want to keep proving they know everything? That they are right? that they are the best? If they are, then why do they constantly seek approval from poor sods like me? Revel in your excellence. Do they have to come rub their greatness on my face?

I too have become emotionally crippled. I didn't find my life or the numerous deaths in my life as daunting as I find this wave of petty-minded, thoughtlessness around. I have sadly to say closed my doors to new people. I know this is wrong. I also know it is wrong to not give people a chance. I can't help it. I find too many people too filthy.

I can no longer tolerate people who indulge in petty politics, gossip, and slandering. People, especially women think nothing of trashing others, even small children. I have heard a person describe a perfectly normal child as mentally retarded. For gods' sakes....leave that child alone and concentrate on your own. But no!!!

Shobhaa De wrote in her blog that an editor asked her to trash Amitabh Bacchan just for no good reason. Thank God she refused but I found a number of articles in leading newspaper sites trashing Brand B. If we common people face this problem, celebrities must face this muck 1000 times more. I can't think of a better example than Aishwarya Rai.

I am confused because I am still living by my old standards that helped me make great friends. For some reason, those standards are not appropriate any more. Should I bow to pressure (the change with times argument) or should I stand taller?

Even here I know people will comment why do you bother, ignore them, or you are being negative. But the truth is I am being bothered, I am being negative and I am definitely UNABLE to ignore them. I either have to learn to out-talk and out-bitch them or risk being anti-social. Help!!!

The moment I reconnect to my friends however, things feel so much better. My spirits are lifted to know there are level-headed "thinking" people of my generation, who aren't afraid to take a stand even if it means the majority are against you. People who quietly go about their work, putting their best efforts in it, trying to avoid all speed bumps. They mind their own business.

You may have views radically different to mine, but as long as you have a thought process which is independent, original and above all based on benevolence, integrity and kindness, you are my friend. I do not care if you are rich/poor, employed/unemployed, girl/boy, straight/gay, white or black or yellow or brown, I welcome all who dare to be!!!

Otherwise, STAY AWAY!!!