Showing posts with label Indian women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indian women. Show all posts

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Eat well..

Our parting wish for our friends is always “stay well”. In Bengali we say bhalo theko.

Very often the older generation says the new generation is a weakling. We fall sick very often and have no stamina. Our eyes, our hair, skin… nothing can stand in comparison to the oldies.

They may be right. However our generation also faces unprecedented stress. An entire generation of Indian women here in the US is wasting away at home. Rotting. Having worked hard at educating ourselves we find ourselves exerting at dishes and laundry or at best carpet stains.

Men don’t know when they might be booted out of their jobs. They have to now work, help at home, look after the baby, and also forge ahead in life. Not easy!

What is easy is to pick up any food that is instant or readily available and gobble it up! In the name of nutrition a lot of companies are becoming fat and unfortunately the consumer is too. We now face a huge obesity problem. And it is huge!

I have seen countless kids greedily gobbling down junk and yet can’t be bothered to even touch a single vegetable. Even I was beginning to think like my dad’s generation: these kids don’t know what’s good for them. I myself have never ever skipped on breakfast. Generally I never ate any ready-made product for breakfast. It was all completely home-made except for milk. Somehow I thought everyone from my generation is very health conscious. I am talking about Indians. Do not know enough about others to comment about them.

I was wrong! I have seen women not eat anything for breakfast at all. Only running on tea or coffee. Eating their lunch at 12.30 pm somehow seems to make it alright for them. Even when they are pregnant! In at least 4 cases, I have seen their babies have a very high reflux problem. Always vomiting. Always. As much as 10 to 12 times a day.

Then the mothers keep trying various things to stop the babies from vomiting and to eat a few morsel. But it doesn’t work. In all of these cases, I closely asked them their diet. Now I am no nutritionist and yet I know drinking tea/coffee on an empty stomach isn’t good. How do I know?

My father was a tea addict. He would start with bed tea. One of my first duties in the morning was to make him tea. He sometimes had a cookie or bread with it. But most times it was on empty stomach. While he was completely healthy during his entire youth, consequences struck when he hit his 50s.

One morning he started vomiting blood and had to be rushed to hospital. The doctors kept asking us if my father was an alcoholic. And we kept trying to convince the docs that he never touched alcohol. After a detailed investigation, the cause turned out to be our humble tea.

While tea itself doesn’t harm much, what is harmful is its acidic effect on an empty stomach. The stomach lining is very soft so tea on an empty stomach is akin to pouring acid on a soft tissue.

All the women have argued that they have never faced acidity problems even though they are drinking tea/coffee since childhood. As an adult one may be able to handle acidity but a newborn has no such ability. All I can say: What is easier? To make a little sandwich for yourself with the tea or to clean up your baby’s vomit.

I know there has been no study on this topic. But then no studies have ever been undertaken specific to Indian habits. Yet it is too much of a coincidence to ignore. Besides any nutritionist worth his/her degree will tell you breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So pleaseeeeee…especially all you pregnant ladies ..stop drinking tea on empty stomachs and start eating a healthy breakfast.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Fuddled and confused...

Help... I am quite confused with what I see around me. Make no mistake, Nature is at its best. The skeletal trees are now sprouting buds in vivid colours. Spring in the US comes wearing fluorescent green, sunshine yellow, Wine red, Beautiful pink and would you believe it!, white. To actually see white leaves or pink leaves transform into green is magical. Going to Disney world and discovering you are Cinderella :) That magical!!

What confuses me is not Nature but us Homo sapiens. I find 99% people utterly boring, lifeless, bourgeois. Low class parasites.. Narrow views, bad attitude...I do know..I trained as an HR where it has been my job to evaluate mental and emotional intelligence. Mental Intelligence abounds but people seem to be crippled emotionally.

To make up for it, I have to start packing the punches to enliven the atmosphere. Why are people so dreary? commonplace? I do talk about women..I don't know what men talk about..As far as I could make out from Bish and his colleagues/friends, the men talk about work, gadgets and sports. I have never heard them speak about women but then they wouldn't...in front of us women, would they? :)

We women are condemned to be petty minded, banal, bickering and ghoulish. Not all of us mind it!!! But most.. I have been spoilt by inspiring, amazing and intelligent women in the first two decades of my life. But the third decade has been disappointing to say the least. I can't remember having an intelligent conversation in ages. I no longer know what's the political wind like in India, or if the healthcare reforms in US are truly path-breaking because I am forced to discuss children, weather, dresses, even jewellery these days.

And of course who can escape the great girly attribute of gossiping and commenting on everything and everyone under the sky. Recently I was able to witness how a simple statement got passed around with so much added masala, the Indian chefs would get high BP digesting it. So of course I try to stay away from such people. The more I try the more keen they are to attach themselves. Why?

Why do they want to keep proving they know everything? That they are right? that they are the best? If they are, then why do they constantly seek approval from poor sods like me? Revel in your excellence. Do they have to come rub their greatness on my face?

I too have become emotionally crippled. I didn't find my life or the numerous deaths in my life as daunting as I find this wave of petty-minded, thoughtlessness around. I have sadly to say closed my doors to new people. I know this is wrong. I also know it is wrong to not give people a chance. I can't help it. I find too many people too filthy.

I can no longer tolerate people who indulge in petty politics, gossip, and slandering. People, especially women think nothing of trashing others, even small children. I have heard a person describe a perfectly normal child as mentally retarded. For gods' sakes....leave that child alone and concentrate on your own. But no!!!

Shobhaa De wrote in her blog that an editor asked her to trash Amitabh Bacchan just for no good reason. Thank God she refused but I found a number of articles in leading newspaper sites trashing Brand B. If we common people face this problem, celebrities must face this muck 1000 times more. I can't think of a better example than Aishwarya Rai.

I am confused because I am still living by my old standards that helped me make great friends. For some reason, those standards are not appropriate any more. Should I bow to pressure (the change with times argument) or should I stand taller?

Even here I know people will comment why do you bother, ignore them, or you are being negative. But the truth is I am being bothered, I am being negative and I am definitely UNABLE to ignore them. I either have to learn to out-talk and out-bitch them or risk being anti-social. Help!!!

The moment I reconnect to my friends however, things feel so much better. My spirits are lifted to know there are level-headed "thinking" people of my generation, who aren't afraid to take a stand even if it means the majority are against you. People who quietly go about their work, putting their best efforts in it, trying to avoid all speed bumps. They mind their own business.

You may have views radically different to mine, but as long as you have a thought process which is independent, original and above all based on benevolence, integrity and kindness, you are my friend. I do not care if you are rich/poor, employed/unemployed, girl/boy, straight/gay, white or black or yellow or brown, I welcome all who dare to be!!!

Otherwise, STAY AWAY!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A little help for u lost men!!! What women want and expect?

In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

- You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain (+8)
- But return with Beer (-5)
- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
- It’s her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
- Named Tina (-4)
- Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

- You take her out to dinner (0)
- You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
- Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
- And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
- It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

- You take her to a movie (+2)
- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
- It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
- You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

- She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
- You hesitate in responding (-10)
- You reply, “Where?” (-35)
- Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____ex-pression (0)
- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Men + Women = ???

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++

Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++

Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

We(e) women!!!

Caught an episode of Bhaskar Bharti on Sony. The one in which "Bharti" talks about the plight of women in India. It was good.

While the serial itself is a copy of Hollywood & an "inspired" Bollywood movie, at least its a step forward from the boring saas-bahu-jethani sagas. The men in the 'K serials' are basically 'katputlis' (puppets), maneouvored by their mothers, lovers, wife & sisters. Wish life was that easy!!!

The truth is no matter her education, race, religion or location, a woman has to compromise on most things...The most important reason is perhaps that she bears children. She is responsible for rearing them into, well..., good people. She has to give up on career, even hobbies, actually put her life on hold to look after her children. If not, who will teach the child values, manners, ethics, traditions. No amount of money can replace a mother. Motherhood is the essence of being a woman. It even made me a better cook. :)

Coming back to Bhaskar Bharti, "Bharti" says dont treat us like devis (idols, goddess), just treat us like humans. How appropriate!!! So many women in India are treated like cattle, or possesions, even objects. We aren't asked what we can do? We are asked what we can do for the man? We aren't judged by our character, always by our figures. So many women in India (where women are worshipped as devis) go through pain on a daily basis. Sometimes its a violent husband, or a neglectful child, a "sick" relative or a lecherous boss.

In a crowded city like Mumbai (considered among the safest city in India; because of its crowds, not law), a woman has to fight every single day against lechers, molesters and eve teasers. These days, even an infant isn't safe from psychos.

Earlier, we had some sense of respect, of family name, of "izzat". Marriages were arranged on the basis of family reputation (and ofcourse wealth). Now, even love marriages fail. Reason, we never know what the other person really is. Of course, this is true for both sexes; but where the injured party is a woman, she suffers the most.

Recently got back in touch with a friend who had had a love marriage, but went through a divorce. Happily remarried now, she says "I have become very depressed. No matter how much I try, I am unable to wipe out the pain". And she faces the constant pressure of being a 'divorcee'.

And heaven help you, if you don't have a child. Every Tom, Dick, Harry, Sally and their aunts make it their business to point out why you should have a child, and how its the right time etc. Factors like stress, career are considered excuses.

We Indian girls, tend to get married "into the family" versus "to a guy". I have heard countless tales of endless taunts, criticisms & negativity from in-laws. Always treated as the outsider. Why???

As a kid, when I lost my mother, I didn't really realise my loss. Somehow I had the impression that I will get motherly love from any number of women (courtesy Bollywood movies glorifying "Maa ka laad"). I had a bad emotional crash, when I realised no woman, absolutely no one had a heart big enough to treat me as a daughter. Not one!!! How to then expect being treated well as a daughter-in-law? And this is a universal experience!!!

Where have we lost the plot? More importantly, what can we do about this?

For one thing, unless we inject a massive dose of TLC, we as a species, are doomed. We need to get our balance right. Sons and daughters, men and women have to be treated the same and well. The onus lies on mothers. To teach our sons to respect women, and to teach our daughters self-confidence and self-reliance.

Teachers need to think of themselves as character-builders, not job holders. If each teacher teaches with genuine passion, the erst-while noble profession will regain its lost glory.

Lets give our and others' children our heart, our time and attention. Not just our money!!!

Maybe then, our next generation will get it right!!!

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