Mumbai--- meri jaan!!!!

Actually Bombay meri jaan sounds so much better!!! But I rather conform to the T family's diktat. Or else...

You see anyone who doesn't, is forced to apologise after being beaten up publicly or forced to leave the state. Sad isn't it? Considering that Mumbai got to where it is because it always welcomed enterprising people from all over India and the world.

Ofcourse now you better have a birth certificate to prove you were born there before you think of setting up house or shop in Mumbai..I am not Marathi but I am a Mumbaiite...I haven't been to Mumbai in about 9 years except for a 10 days trip in 2007. I saw little change but what change I did see made me happy.

Small changes like concretised roads, cement tiles at crossroads most prone to potholes, better buses and fast service. Efficient if you dole out the money.

I have now stayed in 3 continents, 3 countries and 8 cities. I wish I can add to this statistics, but then that's another blog. I feel Mumbai beats any other city in India hands down in terms of efficiency, infrastructure and more importantly human resource. People are generally more helpful, more resourceful, more knowledgeable, and more receptive to new ideas than any other city I have been to.

Even the IT city Bangalore lags dismally in terms of roads, transport, water and even garbage disposal. Mumbai despite bursting at the seams is managing to provide its inhabitants a decent living (I talk ofcourse of the burgeoning middle-class).

But what do I read in the papers?? That the average Mumbaikar dies younger than any other Indian...Why? Because poor Mumbaiikar gets up in the morning, runs to catch the train, works, run to catch the train back home, eats and sleeps. The only holiday Sunday is then spent in socialising, family time, domestic chores, and other work. When does he get to just relax? Nope not even when he is retired. Because he is expected to look after the grand children. He is expected to be productive to the last dying breath else he is a big burden. Like an Amritsari had once told me, Mumbai me sab hamesha bhaagte hi rehte hai.

The poor Mumbaikar scrambles to save money to buy a match box flat, the flat TV, perhaps a semi auto washing machine and hopefully the nanoest of the cars. If not a bike will do very well. He motivates himself with his small dreams and small achievements.

He tries not to fall foul of the authorities (thats everyone in the government from the chaprasi to the chief minister), tries to avoid any road bumps and to drag his life over all potholes till a bomb explodes in the train or a car rams into him. Ofcourse he doesn't even dream of a fast & efficient medical aid. He knows he will die on the road or on the way to the hospital. And probably the ambulance driver will haggle with his harried family for bakshis to get his body back home.

Why should he not die sooner than the others? What incentive does he really have to live till 90 and live well at that? What support will he have? Everyone else will be keen to see him dead anyways.

Answers anyone????

God's little gestures :)

What ever that happens in life, happens for good..... so stop worrying about the future and forget the past.

After Sept. 11th, one company invited the remaining members of other companies who had been decimated by the attack on the Twin Towers to share their available office space.

At a morning meeting, the head of security told stories of why these people were alive...... and all the stories were just the 'LITTLE' things.

As you might know, the head of the company survived that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time. One of them missed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start. One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone... all the little things that annoy me, I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment...

So Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated.

God is at work watching over you & taking care of you

A little help for u lost men!!! What women want and expect?

In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

- You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain (+8)
- But return with Beer (-5)
- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
- It’s her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
- Named Tina (-4)
- Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

- You take her out to dinner (0)
- You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
- Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
- And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
- It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

- You take her to a movie (+2)
- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
- It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
- You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

- She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
- You hesitate in responding (-10)
- You reply, “Where?” (-35)
- Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____ex-pression (0)
- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

A wife's poem!!!

Men + Women = ???

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++

Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++

Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Happy Dashera everyone

Wish u all a Happy Dashera and to all Bongs, a Shubho Bijoya!!!

Had fun this weekend!!! After a very long time celebrated Durga Puja or Navratri.. Funnily enough the Indian diaspora here doesn’t celebrate Durga Puja on the festival dates. It is celebrated much earlier or later depending on the convenience of members. Therefore the last couple of years, we haven’t been able to celebrate the Puja traditionally, i.e. visiting pandals all night, eating out, catching up with all ur Bong friends..Make no mistake daahlings, eating out is a major ritual during Durga Puja for the true blood Bongs. Bish has missed out on Pushpanjali, which he used to do religiously every year. And his biggest sorrow is missing out on the street food “chaat” Bong style!!!

This weekend 3 couples met up at a friend’s house. Each of the ladies had made a puja offering, called bhog, item. So the menu was Puri, Labra (Indian veg dish made of 7 different vegetables), Baingan Bharta, and Alu Sabzi. The desert was Srikhand and some yum yum Halwa.

We ate, talked, watched some TV and then talked some more. Since the kids were really having a good time, we thought we will push up their sleep time. Don’t know how the downstairs neighbours felt about that. We adults chatted and chatted and chatted. My mother’s maiden surname used to be Chatterjee.

When we thought its time to go home, the time actually was 5.30 am…It was our first all nighter after a decade. We finally left after drinking tea at 8 am . The last I stayed awake the whole night was just during my Board exams. Felt like a kid again! The heady combo of fun, food and friends made this weekend a time to remember.

We are planning to do this again. We are pushing for a Ladies Day out and an all nighter, but doubt if our male partners will agree.

Men n Women

Top ten lies men tell:

1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
2. This will be my last pint
3. No, your bum doesn't look big in that
4. I had no signal
5. My battery died
6. Sorry, I missed your call
7. I didn't have that much to drink
8. I'm on my way
9. It wasn't that expensive
10. I'm stuck in traffic

Top ten lies women tell:

1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
2. Oh, this isn't new, I've had it ages
3. It wasn't that expensive
4. It was in the sale
5. I'm on my way
6. I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it
7. I didn't have that much to drink
8. I've got a headache
9. No, I didn't throw it away
10. Sorry, I missed your call

Source: DailyMail

To my BFF

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
you will find the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man..
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

All u ever want to know about Bongs....

Read this on a friend's facebook..looooved it so am reproducing it here....Thanks Jai for this...

Overview:
There are two kinds of Bengalis that I know. Probashi or Expatriate Bangalees, a fairly large and diverse group about which I can't write as I am one of them. And Bengalees who are from Kolkata. This group is incorrectly known as Bongs, as they are merely a subset. However, this is the only group which matters. Gokhale told of them, long years back, "What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow." To which Rene Descartes responded, "I think (today), therefore I am (Bengali)." Like all other Nobel Prize Winners, Oscar Awardees and most successful Indian cricket captains, Rene Descartes was also a Bong (this fact is not known outside of Kolkata).

Physical Description:

The Bong has a large head, glasses, glistening hair and dark skin. Older Bongs develop an ample stomach to balance their large heads. This happens by the age of 25. They smell of Keo Karpin or shorsher teil. The average life expectancy is 65 years. What is even more impressive is what they do in those years. Outside Kolkata, regardless of weather, sex or age, Bongs can be seen in Monkey Caps. This is a must-have accessory as well as a sign to recognize other Bongs. (please see second update for more). The Bongling can often be recognised in either over-sized or under-sized school uniforms. The Bong mother's second biggest fear (See diet for the biggest one) is that the "porer bochor o lomba hoye gele abar notun skirt kinte hobe!!" or "Next year, if you grow taller, we'll again have to buy a new skirt!!" Thus, the school uniform is selected to last at least three years. Thus the uniform sits as conspicuously on the Bongling as the plumage of a macaw.

Early Years :

While most Bongs are born with innate talents in singing, dancing, painting, film making, cooking or embroidery, their creative talents are honed even before they can start speaking. Frequent meets are organized between infants and their successful ancestors and other relatives. MA degrees (preferably from Cambridge , at least from Presidency or Jadobpur) are displayed over the cots. The infant is exposed to the best of Bengali thought – Marx, Bentham, Kalidas, Tolstoy, Chekov*. This increases the sizes of their heads and the height of their ambitions. Similar examples, though rare, can be found in European tradition as well, like in the case of Mozart. In India , however, Bongs have the sole preserve on such activity during infancy.

Soon, when they grow up a little, their characters are honed in the best of schools. Here, I am not referring to the South Points, La Marts, Don Boscos and all. They are important in the nurture a Bong child goes through. What is even more important are the schools the Bong child passes through before school and after school. Many a Bong child wakes up at five o'clock in the morning to attend swimming classes. After one hour of swimming, he attends tennis coaching before rushing off to one of the South Points, La Marts etc mentioned above. School finishes by two or so, from where he scoots along to Singing/ Instrumental Music/ Dance Classes, then tuition (for at least three of all five subjects). He rounds off the day with coaching on either Debating or Quiz. Many a Bong mother will carry the child along through this day, feeling equally energized. This behavior is again not restricted to Bongs. It also seen within kangaroos in Australia who rush along from one clump to another bush.

Growing up:

Soon the Bong attains adolescence, doesn't find friends of his age (since everyone is competing for the Nobel Prize or the Indian captaincy) and finds intimacy in conversation in his/her parents and poems of T S Eliot and Pablo Neruda. When school ends, they move on to the good colleges – Presidency, Xavier's or IIT Kharagpur. The best of them, though, move straight to Joo (Jadobpur). However, in recent years, Dilli (Stephen's obviously) is becoming the preferred destination for some escapists. In colleges, they decorate their rooms with books or portraits of Robi Guru (Tagore). On the opposite wall, men would have posters of he/Maradona and women would have Enrique Iglesias, thus expressing solidarity with Latin American culture. All of them share equal interest in the Bong-Rock (Bhumi, Chondrobindu, Cactus, Usha Uththup, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple).

Later Years :

Bongs mature early. Critics have said that they grow old early, but that is nothing but old hat. Years of toil and Eliot would obviously bestow wisdom. The reason they look older is because the sole purpose of a Bong's life is to win the Nobel Prize or the Oscars (and in recent years, captain the Indian team). With great responsibility comes great age. Add to it the chlorine in the swimming pools and you know why Bongs grey prematurely. As far as their mission in life is concerned, they have been very successful at it. Every Indian Nobel Prize winner has been Bong. So has one of the Oscar Awardees. And most successful cricket captains. And Bipasha Basu. Once Bongs have kids though, their mission on life changes. The only raison d'etre for them is making sure that their progeny achieve the heights that they could (or couldn't). Hence, they are mostly found outside of schools, colleges and tuition classes, with mats (madoors), mugs (of cha) and mouthfuls of goppo.

Diet:

Diet is as important as Robindro Shongeet. There's nothing that a Bong can't eat. However, they prefer protein over other food groups. The largest source of protein for them is fish, then meat, and then mishti (sweets) made from milk. More than fish itself, it is the knowledge of fish which is coveted and enjoyed. Carbohydrates are tolerated if they are fried in oil or if it is accompaniment to fish. Luchis (somewhat like puri), Telebhajas (pakoras) and Phuchkas (Paani Puri) are the favoured source of carbohydrates. The young Bengali though invariably always has Farex, Lactogen and Waterbury 's Compound. As far as they most important meal of the day is concerned, please do note that what dieticians have been saying in the last few years, Bongs have known for centuries. Breakphast/tiphin is an occasion where the entire family comes together, to watch the office-going Bong male and school-bound Bonglings eat. The Bong woman's biggest fear is that "Shokale bhaat dal mach bhaaja na kheye beriye gailo" or "In the morning, He went out without eating rice, dal and fish fry." To round off the calories, Dal is often accompanied by aaloo bhaate, aaloo bhaja, potol bhaaja and various other heartily fried stuff. Not for the faint-hearted.

Mating and procreation:

A few Bong end up being in relationships, which lead to love marriages. This is sometimes shown in movies and song. However, most do not have any such social malignancy and end up marrying the woman of their mother's dreams or men of their father's choosing. This results in mixing the right genes for the next cycle of Bongs. Love marriage, by its very nature, is random. It sometimes results is tragedy, like marrying into another country (like India). Hence, it is avoided, wherever possible.

Social Life:

Adda, robindro shongeet and cha. Repeat. Do note that the young Bong doesn't have a social life (at least not till he wins the Nobel or gets a Government job). And phootball. the Bongs have had an illustrious history of achievement in football. Every para (neighbourhood) has stories of when they won the World Cup at the expense of the next one. The last time it happened in my parent's para was in 1986, when Argentina won in Mexico. Diego Maradona, who looks Bhodrolok enough, give or take a few lines of coke, or a few sprigs of grass, scored famously using his hand, a skill which he learnt in Kolkata. Over the last few years, Brazil has been gladdening the hearts of the many Zicos being born in Kolkata after 1982. The only team which is not Bong is Germany as they play with more efficiency and no creativity, which thus not support adda. Do not ask of a Bong ever doing anything of substance on the phootball field, as then the Bong will keep you occupied about Jakarta 1962. "Chuni Goswami je ball tule dilo PK ke match-er aagei bolechilo, "Ekta ball debo. daam kore maarish. Gol hobe"." Chuni Goswami put a football up for PK (Banerjee). He told him before the match itself, "I will give you one ball. Hit it with a bang. Goal will happen." Obviously, it is also the crowning moment of Indian phootball.

Habitat:

While you may find a Bong in other places (like occasionally in offices), the best time to observe a Bong is in his natural habitat – the best of colleges, the best of schools, the best of coffee houses. It is here that he will tell you about Balzac while she will recite poetry with gay abandon. To mix in with the Bong, apply Keo Karpin to your hair and carry a jhola… and don't forget the thick glasses. Hopefully, they won't notice your small head. Do not worry about not knowing the language, as the Bong likes being heard more than hearing.

Famous Bongs :

Many famous Bongs have been referred to in this extract. Hence, this section is used to debunk that big myth about Big Bongs. People believe that Bong men can't be hunky, or carelessly famous. If so, then what about Abhishek Bachchan (via mother), Saif Ali Khan (via mother), John Abraham (via girlfriend), Hritik Roshan via grandmother) , or Sonia Gandhi (via cat… seriously, she's from Kolkata).

Bongs in Literature, Film, Art:
Everywhere you care to look.

Closing Word:

Being Bong, at the end of the day, is a state of mind. Or, a case of being discovered by them

My creations...

SSSummer dress
Tote made to order for Vaishali Dighe
Tote made to order for Aditi

Goldie & Vijender are growing...SRK is not...

An update on my second one....He is growing fast, so fast that we may have to change his house.

Hey I am talking about my goldfish. The bowl isn't big enough for him anymore. We are thinking of buying a tank so that we can get some friends for him. Strange..whether it is my daughter or the fish, I am worrying about getting playmates for them both. But the best update is that Bish (my husband) has also started talking to him. :) I found Bish apologising to Goldie for delaying his meal by a half hour.
...x............o...........................x..............................o...................................x.......................................o..................................................................................................................

Happy to know a celebrity put India's name on the map in a positive manner. Vijender Singh has become World no 2 in International Boxing 75kgs category. Congratulations to you Vijender. Way to go!!! Finally, we have a sportsman among us.

Meanwhile SRK created a ruckus about spending an hour aside at immigrations in US. I had been sent into a room the first time I traveled to UK. Because some idiot had not updated my health records. I had to prove I was healthy enough to enter UK. Fortunately, I had my X -Rays and med reports with me. Another Indian lady traveling alone had the misfortune to find out at the immigration counter, she had TB and was therefore to be stopped from entering UK. Wonder why no one told her before she left her country.

The UK guy looked badly overworked and ready to fuse. While traveling to US, we had a smooth transition. Should SRK have created such a ruckus? Considering the way celebrities (especially Americans) behave, I guess so. But I was really cheesed to see the Indian governtment and public crying foul, when hardly anyone said a word about Ex President APJ Kalam being frisked by an international airline. That is way beyond insulting.

I would love to hand over dear Mr Bush to the paan chewing paandus at Mumbai airport. Then maybe these Americans will learn to respect other people. They have their pride, these Americans, but it borders to insolence in most.

And we Indians can't ever get rid of white-skin worshipping, can we???

A mother's life!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ&feature=player_embedded

Absolutely hillarious..watch it

A Toast to my friends!!!

I have always felt blessed w.r.t my friends. They replaced my non-existent family, became my guardian angels, and helped me overcome some of my biggest troubles. Their friendship has stood the test of time, weathered the storms of life & is still going strong. I haven't met some of them in as much as a decade, but the connection is rock-solid.

These are the ladies & gentlemen to whom I owe my strength, life & sanity.

In no particular order:

1. Meenakshi Iyer (Mumbai) - We were competitors in college. She has come up with an Indian lawyerish drawl but still is a little girl at heart. Now a banker and a mom, she has her head firmly screwed on her shoulders. Need practical advice anyone?

2. Rohini Bangera (now Doshi, Mumbai) - Sweet & innocent!!! Now a harried housewife in a joint family, she talks straight to your face. Naive but incisive, she has been the most successful in keeping the romance in her life alive. She has wanted to kill me since college days. Lessons in love, perhaps???

At 21, Rohini & Meenakshi offered to put my life back on track, after my train derailed suddenly. And they did....

3. Meera Rajamani (now Sarma, Mumbai/Bangalore) - A surprising and a fierce ally, she has proved the mettle of her friendship is the finest. I have laid my heart bare in front of her, and she understood every single emotion. Without judgement, with honesty. Now a mother of 2 strapping boys, she can glance into your soul.

4. Sudha Devadiga (now Gandhi, Mumbai) - The best human being ever!!! Fortunate enough to know her since 6th form, my Noble prize for friendship & humanity goes to her. She is someone who will help you when you need it the most & then disappear. Quiet & gentle, she is a working woman & a mother. Everyone needs an angel like her in their lives.

5. Saurabh Gunderia (Mumbai) - He was in 6th form when I was in 10th. I used to knot his tie for him everyday, now I tie him a "Rakhi'. The only guy who succeeded in winning the position of "Brother", when my own died. Struggling with his own problems, he has never backed down. Supported me to the hilt and has done more than any blood relative could/would. Life's been dealing him bad eggs, but he is going strong. Way to go, bro!!!

6. Samit Kadakia (California, I think) - The man, the machine!!! He is so focused, he almost got tunnel vision. :) He is a shining example of how hard work & determination can get you places. An NRI, he probably saw me as a baby. We haven't really met as grownups, but he is a strong pillar in everyone's life. Always behind the scenes, sometimes I didn't even know that he had smoothed out my path. Married to a very very very nice lady, he has proved to be the strongest link in my life..Every gal needs a man like him in her life...

7. Shana Shah (London) - A grandmother!, she is Her Majesty's tax officer. She was a friend of a friend. We bonded one drunken night :) and that bond has stayed super strong. She has been an incredible support for her children & friends. I wish she had been my mother but I am thankful she is in my life. Heaven knows if we will ever meet again, but I know I will lobby with God to put me closer to her in my next life.

8. Sangita Tailor (Luton, UK) - My dad called her 'Shongitabehn'. She was the kindest person to me in a foreign land. In her, I found my other sibling. Like a true elder sister, she looked after me. Shopped for vegetables for me, clothes, gave me yummy ghar ka khana, took me out on family outings and generally guided me during my initial relation with my husband, Bish. And she is so funny!!! Always ready for a laugh, she made tedious work at ABB, Luton a joy. She was the only one who has cried on being separated from me. :) Loving & caring, that's who she is!!!

9. Jagruti Bahl (now Sarkar, Pune) - A very sweet Punjabi kudi. Her enthusiasm & zest for life rivals mine. We met in a park due to our daughters (both daughters are born a few days apart, and we share the same birth month).We were barely together for a few months, but she has forged a link of a lifetime. Ignoring her own pain, she runs to assuage others' pain. A heart of pure gold.

10. Prasad Manohar (Pune, US) & Vinod Chavara (Mumbai & God knows where) - Anyone who has worked in Choudhury International, knows these two names go together. I met them when I was at my lowest in life. Numb and dazed, I was hurtling through life, when these two individually gave me strength. They both somehow pulled me out of an abyss & got me going. Vinod had asked to be my brother, but I requested friendship. And he has been a rock-solid friendship. Have lost touch with Vinod, but I hope you know you made a big difference in my life. Prasad is desperate to get rid of me :), but I have my clutches on you my friend. Both sweet, caring and good boys, married to very sensible girls, I wish them the best in life..

Some other people who influenced, inspired, moved me or were simply there.

Priya Das (now Arun, Mumbai), Samiksha (Seth) n Sheetal Desai (Mumbai), Sheetal's mom, Mrs Desai, Cheryl Dias (Canada), Purvi Mehta (Mumbai), Aditi Chowdhury (US), Vaishali Dighe (US).

Thank you all for your incredible love and support. God bless you all!!!

We(e) women!!!

Caught an episode of Bhaskar Bharti on Sony. The one in which "Bharti" talks about the plight of women in India. It was good.

While the serial itself is a copy of Hollywood & an "inspired" Bollywood movie, at least its a step forward from the boring saas-bahu-jethani sagas. The men in the 'K serials' are basically 'katputlis' (puppets), maneouvored by their mothers, lovers, wife & sisters. Wish life was that easy!!!

The truth is no matter her education, race, religion or location, a woman has to compromise on most things...The most important reason is perhaps that she bears children. She is responsible for rearing them into, well..., good people. She has to give up on career, even hobbies, actually put her life on hold to look after her children. If not, who will teach the child values, manners, ethics, traditions. No amount of money can replace a mother. Motherhood is the essence of being a woman. It even made me a better cook. :)

Coming back to Bhaskar Bharti, "Bharti" says dont treat us like devis (idols, goddess), just treat us like humans. How appropriate!!! So many women in India are treated like cattle, or possesions, even objects. We aren't asked what we can do? We are asked what we can do for the man? We aren't judged by our character, always by our figures. So many women in India (where women are worshipped as devis) go through pain on a daily basis. Sometimes its a violent husband, or a neglectful child, a "sick" relative or a lecherous boss.

In a crowded city like Mumbai (considered among the safest city in India; because of its crowds, not law), a woman has to fight every single day against lechers, molesters and eve teasers. These days, even an infant isn't safe from psychos.

Earlier, we had some sense of respect, of family name, of "izzat". Marriages were arranged on the basis of family reputation (and ofcourse wealth). Now, even love marriages fail. Reason, we never know what the other person really is. Of course, this is true for both sexes; but where the injured party is a woman, she suffers the most.

Recently got back in touch with a friend who had had a love marriage, but went through a divorce. Happily remarried now, she says "I have become very depressed. No matter how much I try, I am unable to wipe out the pain". And she faces the constant pressure of being a 'divorcee'.

And heaven help you, if you don't have a child. Every Tom, Dick, Harry, Sally and their aunts make it their business to point out why you should have a child, and how its the right time etc. Factors like stress, career are considered excuses.

We Indian girls, tend to get married "into the family" versus "to a guy". I have heard countless tales of endless taunts, criticisms & negativity from in-laws. Always treated as the outsider. Why???

As a kid, when I lost my mother, I didn't really realise my loss. Somehow I had the impression that I will get motherly love from any number of women (courtesy Bollywood movies glorifying "Maa ka laad"). I had a bad emotional crash, when I realised no woman, absolutely no one had a heart big enough to treat me as a daughter. Not one!!! How to then expect being treated well as a daughter-in-law? And this is a universal experience!!!

Where have we lost the plot? More importantly, what can we do about this?

For one thing, unless we inject a massive dose of TLC, we as a species, are doomed. We need to get our balance right. Sons and daughters, men and women have to be treated the same and well. The onus lies on mothers. To teach our sons to respect women, and to teach our daughters self-confidence and self-reliance.

Teachers need to think of themselves as character-builders, not job holders. If each teacher teaches with genuine passion, the erst-while noble profession will regain its lost glory.

Lets give our and others' children our heart, our time and attention. Not just our money!!!

Maybe then, our next generation will get it right!!!

Love aaj kal!!! :(

Saw Love Aaj Kal..yuck..what a horrible movie...

Bollywood has completely run out of ideas and they can't even find proper movies to copy. I felt LAK was a rehash of Hum Tum, the difference being 2 love stories, kal (Rishi Kapoor & some new gal who doesn't say a word, and only has to look worried) and aaj (Saif n Deepika). In HumTum, gal's husband dies, while in LAK she divorces.

Its a receipe. Take 1 story from Hum Tum, add one more couple, with a little dash of KANK. Add a wedge of an item song and small clothes. You have instant Indian movie .

There is nothing positive to write about it at all. Nothing. Nada. Nyet. Why are we still copying movies? Am pretty sure the producer Saif pressurised to copy the script of his only solo hit.

Phew!!! Don't we have anything, absolutely anything to say about other subjects? I wanted to laugh when I heard Vipul Shah was planning to sue some Bong director for plaguerising from Namastey London. Only its too tragic. Chor kotwaal se zyaada taqatwaar hai.

What is the best invention of our times???

Moi says its the cell phone.

When Bish and I were dating, we were separated by a continent but connected with a single, palm sized device. Voila!!!! The cell phone.

It connects us to everyone, whether they are located in the desert or a jungle. Be it Bihar ke gaon ka gora ya london ki mem...They are all hooked to the mobile. During Bish & my time, we had to pay incoming call charges. We made Airtel what it is now ;) But the intense competition in the telecome sector has ensured high levels of service, accessibility and low prices per call. Even better, free incoming calls!!!

Bish thinks the best invention of our times is the GPS. You can never get lost...I beg to differ. The GPS is good for US and the UK. So far India hasn't even got its streets mapped. We have to rely on the local paanwallah for directions. I doubt the situation is different in say, Prague or Italy. They unfortunately dont even have the ubiquitous paanwallah. :))

What is the best invention of our times???

My birthday gift..... :))))

Am so darned excited, I am either bummin' the sofa or hitting the roof...

This year, Bish (that's my husband) gifted me a Singer sewing machine. I am rubbing my hands in glee. To think of the exciting stuff I can make. Thank the stars and my husband, I have a daughter. Now I can make some dresses for her.

My mom used to stitch clothes for me when I was young. She of course, was an expert, while I am a novice with just a little experience in stitching, sewing and embroidering. Thanks to our school curriculum, I have stitched and embroidered quite a few things, even won an Anchor prize in Embroidery competition. This was in 1991-92.

Have to declare, every husband should be like Bish. He has always encouraged me in all, repeat ALL, my pursuits. I have grown mushrooms, started business, painted sarees, and what not.

He has never ever stopped me from doing any of it. Some of my pursuits have been expensive, but my life has been richer with the experience. Never once has he cribbed about money spent.

So all ye folks take a bow. Mine takes the prize for the "best husband" category. Appalause.

A funny experience...

Always thought would write funny stuff when I do get an opportunity to write. Or rather when I would come round to sit still at a place with a pen, other than for school exams.

Turns out, I have turned too darned serious. And I am not even old..My blog doesn't reflect my fun loving side at all..My "sense" of humor gets triggered among like-minded people, who love a good belly-jiggle. So let me share a friend's funny experience.

My husband told us (we of the belly-jiggle group) about a colleague's experience in China. He (the colleague, that is, lets call him M) is fond of food. But in China, he lost a lot of weight due to lack of edible (by Indian standards at least) fare.

At a dinner party organised by the client, M was gratified to see leg pieces (those belonging to chicken). But a friend cautioned him to check out the originating body, if it belonged to a chicken proper or some other exotic oriental animal.

So M approached the server and in his best Bollywood style, pantomimed a rooster and asked "kukdookoo"???????? The server shook his head and said "Bhow-Bhow".

M fortuitiously avoided getting his dharam-bhrast (literal meaning religiosity destroyed) but went without food for another night. He however provided fodder for us to jiggle over.

Life's rushing by...

Time's flying by....Another birthday is round the corner..Unfortunately I don't feel the ageing mentally, only physically.

Got in touch with a college friend recently after 7 yrs... :) She has a baby now and a cute gal she is..

These days I don't hear from friends too much...Everyone is too busy, so I get forwards from friends to let me know they are somewhere at the other side of the globe and my horizon and that we have each other in our thoughts.

Read a forward...loved it..am reproducing it here....

God: Hello… Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No… Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something…
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic. It’s rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can’t we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?
God: when they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me”. Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want
to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can’t get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve.

As I am hurtle forward in the age bar, it helps to read such forwards..It gives me some peace of mind to ignore looking for my existential purpose and to simply live.

It is great to be here in the US with a dependent visa...I can't work so I don't. Of course the unpaid housewife role doesn't go away. But I am not an underpaid minion to some egoistic, workaholic. It helps to see my daughter grow a little cm by cm. And little Goldie too :)

So guys bring it on...Forward me the good stuff..

My first pet :))

I am smiling like a toothless turtle sipping cold tea...

I have a new pet..My first ever in fact. A Goldfish...

My daughter named him Goldie..Its a "he" because "he" makes his home very dirty, very fast. But since I am not the one who cleans up after him, I am smiling...

I have to admit, it feels like we have brought our second child home. He is just as demanding. The water needs to be clean and cool, the food has to be just enough. I cant overfeed him else he will get a tummy upset..(Jesus! who knew fishes also had tummy upsets).

It is therapeutic to watch him though..He scoots around the bowl, all the time grazing for food. I found myself talking to him and calling him 'beta' (son in hindi). The first night I switched off the lights, I actually switched it on again thinking he might be scared of the dark and the new place. So I talked to him to go off to sleep and not to be scared :)

My neighbour looked at me as if I was nuts when I told him I was talking to my fish. But I love having these conversations with him. Goldie is always there, no matter what the time is. My human family goes off to sleep while I read, or surf or watch TV. But Goldie gives me company..My daughter has even come up with a new dance step to imitate him. To be fair to him, we are planning to get him a friend. Soon.

Will keep you guys posted on my evolving emotions and Goldie's antics...

Long live the King!!!

My husband called up today from office and said there is a bad news...He never usually calls me; so a call and that too about bad news......

He told me Micheal Jackson was dead...I was shocked into silence...The tears are there behind the eyes, refusing to come out. My brain went into flashback to the beautiful videos of MJ Bad, Black or White, his moon walk...

I like very few English songs, very few indeed. For some reason I cant identify with them be it Elvis or the Beatles. But MJ struck deep. Not because he danced like a dream but his songs were really really great..I was about 7 yrs old when I heard my first MJ song, Bad at someone's house. That song stuck in my head although I didn't listen to it again for years. And then as a high school student, I bunked class and went to see 'Free Wily'. The movie was good but the title song "Will you be there?" was fantastic..I waited to see in the film credits whose song it was and was pleasantly shocked to know it was the king of the pop..

MJ deserves that title because he was able to not only win over his own country but also transcend boundaries and reached the heart of a 7yr old staying in suburban Mumbai, definitely not a place for English songs leave alone MJ's Bad.

He had his share of troubles and thats probably because he was such a genius. A genius pays a terrible price for being singled out by God with heavenly talent. Something is always offkey. MJ suffered through his problems, and accusations. The saddest part is that he wasn't given a chance to redeem himself.

How I wish he had been able to at least perform one concert. Go out blazing.

Never mind, His music will remain forever. Long live the king!!! Rest in Peace.

Ban Australia!!!

Read about the attacks on Indian students in Australia....Thank you Mr Amitabh Bacchan for taking a public stance on the attacks.

Me thinks we should ban Australia....

And why not? If something like that happened in India, Australia would have issued travel advisories, banned Indian products and people.

Lets follow Mahatma Gandhi's non-cooperation movement. Lets refuse to use all things Australian, including their wooden tasting 'red' apples.

Lets ban all those idiotic Australian cricketers who have zero manners and even less respect for the country that fills their coffers with ad money. Their old, down & out cricketers play for our "premier" league, while our very own illustrious cricketers go begging for small jobs and perks.

Lets stop paying through our nose for degrees that have zero value internationally and even less in India. Hardly any of their unis can match upto our IITs & IIMs.

Why not use all this money to build more such Institutes & utilise our talent to better our own country?

Ban Australia......Why? They need to learn that they have to grow up as individuals, as a team and as a nation. They think they are the best. Why? What has been their achievement? Ever?

I found a book on astrology by an Australian. He had the nerve to write that Indian astrology can never be accurate because there was very little research, knowledge and anyways Indian sons always followed their fathers' profession. Yet that Australian was selling his book in India.

This is just an example of their pigheadedness & ineptness. And our generosity. We have always welcomed barbarians with open arms...

We Indians need to show them their place. Like their geographical position, its at the bottom, right "down under".

On a trip across US

Have visited Washington DC and Niagara Falls..two of the most famous attractions in US..And both very deserving..While Washington DC is a beaoootiful city, Niagara Falls shows how the Americans preserve their God given gift...

One member of our gang commented Niagara me US waalon ka kya haath hai..ye to bhagwaan ka diya hai...But i beg to differ....That place is thronged by millions and still is sqqqueakky clean...The water is so beautiful that one can perhaps even drink it...Nowhere did i spot a single...mind u a single piece of garbage...even though maximum people thronging Niagara are Indians.

Besides the arrangement they have made to get you under one of the minor falls (Bridal veil) is fantabulous..Noway on earth can anyone slip or fall or have an accident..I was impressed....

More than the falls, its the professionalism of the Americans that impressed me...

My newest crush :)

I am in a spell.. The spell-weaver is John Castle...Who is he ye ask?

He has piercing blue eyes, looks disapproving. And then when he smiles....ooh lala it reaches your heart straightaway. Atleast it did mine...

I saw him as Inspector Craddock in The Mirror Cracked from side to side, Agatha Christie's televised story of Miss Marple played by Joan Hickinson. I loved him in it. Since then I have obsessed about him. He was about 55 when he played the role, and is 70 now...God he did it so well. And he wasn't even a leading man. This picture is of John Castle at a younger age..

If I ever visit UK again, I will hunt him up and tell him how much I like him. Wish I could see him in more screen appearances.

John Castle joins the list of my crushes. Earlier and still occupied by Jeremy Brett, Tommy Lee Jones, Harrison Ford, and George Clooney. These men are all old (at least in Indian terms) and yet have the charm and personality to make me go weak in the knees. My dream is to go on a date with George, which may never happen. :(

But if it does....

Faith, Karma, Luck by chance...

Saw Luck by Chance recently...I liked it but not overly so. It felt like a documentary on our film industry. The movie did raise a pertinent point, is it Luck or Work? Does Karma have anything to do with this?

Observations & experiences have taught me to think so. Our life, lifestyle, success/failure is, I feel, quite a bit reflective of our and even our ancestors' karma. Perhaps thats why our Hindu wisdom has advocated a period of "tapasya" in each man's life...to wash out his sins and seek spiritual progress. Sai Baba has clearly emphasised on 9 ways of attaining knowledge "Atmaa-gyaan" ...Satsang, service to others, reading religious books, charity are some of them.

Our parents & theirs' performed pujas, did charity, satsang etc. Perhaps that has a given a sense of happiness to us. (World survey says we are quite a happy society). If you consider India's past, India is quite blessed. She has rich, fertile lands (or had). India has rarely faced any major natural disasters. India has shown amazing progress (despite its corrupt & useless leaders). This is, I believe, quite a lot due to the philanthropic nature of its people. Now that these values are eroding, the next generation is at a risk of losing the wealth of wisdom. It becomes our duty as parents to do everything in our power to dip into old-age wisdom & impart ancient teachings to our children.

Extremists (people who have least notions of "God" & "Godly") are putting a violent shade to religion. "Hindu Terrorists" a word I never thought existed, is now a reality. It is painful to think that we would spend our energies breaking law, people and ethics. Education system from the elite "Gurukul" system has gone down the "Donation only" drain. As a mother, the biggest terror for me is securing admission in the threatening, corrupt world of Indian schools.

Our generation has the capacity to take charge. We are better traveled, have advantage of reflection and global knowledge and resources. In the movie "Rang de Basanti", the youth take action against the correct problem, even if the solution was wrong.

Lets try to limit the mean thoughts, words & actions. Lets respect our parents, our culture & Nature.

A book on Sai Baba's life & teachings has become my bible. I will try to incorporate as much of His teachings as I can. My selfish motive is my daughter. I hope I do enough good Karma to enable her & her contemporaries. to have a good life, Luck and all.....What will You do????

Me homemaker..but do I do nothing "sitting" at home?

Disappointing to note that my opponent thinks that being a homemaker means sitting at home doing nothing but cooking and watching k serials.

That is an attitude prevalent even among women in India who are employed outside the home... Once again, it has taken the western world to recognise the role of the homemaker as the most important job in the world. And it goes unpaid too!!!

A homemaker looks after the home so that the "gainfully employed" husband can come home to a calm base (whether it remains calm or not is another topic) . She looks after the kids, ensuring that they study well, eat well and play well. In India, she also looks after the elderly in-laws (atleast thats the idea). She looks after the past, present and the future generations..all at once..

She herself however, doesnt respect her role. In the modern scheme of things, going out for a work and getting that second salary has become more important than looking after kids or parents. I am not saying working after having kids is wrong. No sir. What I feel is the future generation is compromised due to the lapse of the very Indian concept of joint family. These days we cant stay even with our own parents. So kids are pushed to day cares, out in the world, in the hands of strangers at a very early age...even before they have bonded enough with their own flesh n blood.

Solution? Perhaps one of my best friend has achieved a good balance. She works in Mumbai for an international bank. Stays with her inlaws and has arranged an apartment for her ailing parents on a floor above. She manages to look after everyone and the responsibility of bringing up her 2 yr old kid is shared by everyone. The kid gets a wholesome environment to grow up in.

But can everyone afford to make such arrangements? If not what else is out there ??????

Why blog? Why now?

Everyone who is anyone, is blogging. Everyone who is not anyone, is also burning the e-world with random thoughts. So here! I splashed right in.

This is a world where anyone can put in a word (more would be welcome, funny would be appreciated), But be warned...this is dueling place. My main opponent being some Telugu character I have never met, called Sarath Pendalaya, who tries his inept hand at belling the CAT and succeeds 95% of the time. Besides the bells, Finance, sports, & journalism interest him. Talk about having all the time in the world. He also pretends he is half my age and double my brains. A laughable ambition, I say...

But who am I? You may call me a nerd (judging by my heavy glasses). Nopeeeee...I am just a detective fiction aficionado in love with Sherlock Holmes (the one played be Jeremy Brett only). My mission is to read the entire series of any detective character I like. Having finished with Sir Doyle's and Dame Christie's work, I am in an undesirable position of looking out for new characters, who can stimulate the grey cells & the old heart.

So here goes an attempt to electronically settle duels!. The rest of the world can take sides, oppose, depose or go fly.

My first topic for my very own blog? Cat got my..pen.!?

Now that my better half (I dispute the "better" part of the half, but thats another blog) has created a blog for me, I am at a loss..What or who should i spew my venom on? What should I write on?

The inhuman, despicable massacre in Mumbai's landmark or the greater tragedy of the city's admisnistrative eunuchs. Or the strange case of weird killings of get this - only Andhra guys & gals - mainly students, in the US. So far 8....Why only Andhra people? Why no other community from the Indian diaspora in US of A?

My meandering mind suggests the possibility of internal Andhra border political killings spilling over the States shores. Can it possible that some political wannabe is destrying the next generation opponent in foreign shores and getting away with it.

However, My dont-be-an-alarmist side says possibly and more probably US is full of Andhra students rather than the "moneybhais and bens" I had assumed. I mean the enterprising Gujjus ofcourse.

I havent met a single Gujju yet, except behind a counter. Though I havent yet gone a-visiting New Jersey, an Indian stronghold. People say the streets are exactly like India's, full of food stalls, shops and bad drivers. Americans snigger at even the Deptt of Motor Vehicle in NJ. Wonder who mans the counter at DMV? Us "garibs" or them "goras".

To be fair, I havent spent time enough in USA. Only a ayear and that spent mainly indoors or instores. Not being a student is a major disadvantage. Not being employed is even worse. I dont get a chance to interact with them Amrikis, nor they get a chance to meet a modern, progressive not money nor career minded Indian. Other delicious adjectives come to mind, but dont want to start a war of words with people who know me :) But yeah, I am nosey as hell....

My experience so far tells me US is better than UK in a zillion ways. There is a huge debate on whether it is better than India. All NRIs with a stay span of 2-5 yrs find US better. NRIs with 10 yrs plus prefer India. NRIs beyond couldnt care less where they stay as long as they can get their Americanised kids to talk to them.

I guess I will discuss (with who???? I wonder) the merits and demerits from a worldly wise point of view next blog..Ciao!!