March goes marching by...

This month just flew off the shelf….didn’t know when it started and it’s already at its end…Spring is supposed to be here but snow still gave us a visit. Maybe next week I will see some life sprouting back on the trees and some color in the landscape…

Didn’t write anything this month at all…not because I had nothing to talk about but because I had someone to talk to

A relative came over for 3 weeks and it was real fun to talk to a real live person versus tapping thoughts and feelings out on a machine or on a “wall”.

We spent hours talking..sometimes rehashing the same thing but then that’s what women do…slept at 1 am daily and had to get up at 7 am for my daughter Though tired and sleepy, still kept on yakking away..

After ages got to flush my system…

Sometimes a man just doesn’t get what a woman wants or feels! So chuck him out and get a BFF. Best Female Friend! I have 2 or 3 with whom I can talk hours…And there is one with whom I open my deepest thoughts. Without any fear of judgment or fear of getting unnecessary advice.

That is rich! To not have to explain any of your feelings or actions is so refreshing. Its like getting freedom.

Somehow you cant do it with parents, nor with husbands, definitely not with colleagues or neighbours. Some of my friends in India regularly meet up over lunch or coffee and I do envy them. I see that happening here..Women out alone without kids or family having lunch once a month or even a year. Enriching..

I have learnt a lot from other women, simply by listening to their experiences. Helped me avoid mistakes or to correct a deviation. Climb over an incline! Thank you gals! Wouldnt swap my BFFs for anything in the world.

Waiting for the sun to shine…

Waiting…eagerly waiting for the sun to shine…In my life..On the world…Over Egypt…We all need sunshine…

Still struggling with low temperatures, the summer can’t come any sooner for us folks here.. Luckily looks like storm season is over, or we have left the worst of it behind us. Hoping for some warmth.

Egypt is in desperate need for some sunshine (as also many other nations). I salute the brave people of Egypt for having the courage to stand up to a regime that has brandished corruption, torture and mayhem. It takes a lot of effort to standup to authority in any country. But where the authority is downright ruthless, the effort takes epic proportions.

I pray the continued struggle of the common people brings desired results. Though funnily enough the people in the wrong have become so brazen that they refuse to concede power even when confronted by millions. Haven’t we seen it all in India itself?

Happily, I am hooked to Saas Bina Sasural. Apart from the drama, I love the interactions (good direction/acting) of all the characters. So sweet! I would love to have a family like that…Really a dose of happiness before turning in!

Shocked also at how blindly we pick up all things western. Wife Swap has now become Maa Exchange. So heart-rending to see children suffer. But yes it shows how we love shredding others but won’t glance at the mirror. If people take it as lessons to be learnt this couldn’t be a better program. But…

Personally, this lioness is in lazy mode. Apart from sleeping and cooking, not inclined to do much. Have several projects to finish, but can’t be bothered. Is it the weather? or Boredom? or Hormonal Imbalance?

There’s something about US…

Its India’s Republic Day! Right time to reflect on what is and what can be…

Staying abroad always makes me love my country that much more! I miss talking in Hindi. I miss feeling the sense of belonging. No wonder I end up watching everything (well almost) Bollywood has to offer..I have watched yuck movies as Kajol’s Kuch Khatti kuch Mithi to TMK, all in the hopes of connecting to something familiar. A culture that I totally understand and relate to…And love!

And whenever I return back, ooh la la, I face a huge culture shock. Every single time! The first time I traveled in Mumbai local after returning back in 2002, I was shocked and disappointed at the appalling behaviour of aam janta. A college going girl refused to let me get off at Andheri simply because I was sitting till Goregaon. She said you should have gotten up earlier. Go figure!

In Pune, the rickshaw driver started threatening like a goon because he wanted Rs 25 instead of the minimum fare Rs 9 for a 2 min ride. In Chennai, while I was 5 months pregnant, the watchman refused to help me bring a suitcase down from the 3rd floor, simply because I was “North Indian“.

In Kolkatta, when we took a prepaid taxi from the airport to home, a man (driver’s supposed friend) forcibly entered the taxi to take a short ride and only got off because I raised an alarm.

In Bangalore, I stood in a queue 1 mile long for 4 hours to secure admission in a school in nursery class for my child. I still didn’t get it. And I was told to keep a minimum Rs 1 lac ready if I wanted admission to any school (decent or not) at all.

None of these and various other experiences would make me feel a proud Indian today! Sometimes I cringe at the appalling behaviour I see exhibited by my country people in India or abroad. Our love of showing off our wealth has led to killings of young men and women. Our love of ignoring rules led to a recent accident here killing 8 people including a month old baby. Our love of chaati-thok self-righteousness, even if wrong, has made us one of the hated communities abroad.

Not all of it is our fault. Though, somehow we are losing touch with our culture. The very thing that makes us. Made us. Age old wisdom in Yoga, Naturopathy, Daan - dharam, Prathistha, Izzat are buzz words abroad. In India, they are shrugged off. The best line I have ever heard was from a boy who refused to pick up his litter say, “Yeh Mera kaam nahi hai. Main to aisa hi hoon”.

Isn’t that also a Movie song? A reflection of popular culture.

A neighbourhood school was recently closed down here and parents protested against it. Everybody knew it was an underperforming school and was shut to save council money. But they protested as: some would lose jobs, and it would affect the community by lowering house prices. Here the concern was the impact on the community of teachers, helpers and neighbours. Not their children, for parents knew children would be taken care of adequately.

It’s been – 30 degrees Celsius here and have seen 7 storms in 5 weeks. Even after the worst blizzard, a small army of dedicated council workers came out to clean up the streets. The residents clean up the sidewalk surrounding their house for pedestrians. Life was completely normal. Nothing got paralysed. Unlike what one single rainy day can do in Mumbai!

Or take victims like Aarushi, Nitish Katara, or Satyendra Dubey. They are forgotten people. Some of us self righteous people protested, held morchas, lit candles and went back home to sleep. These cases are swept under the carpet by us. Many among our aam junta may not be aware of who these people are. Kya kare bhaiyya, zamana hi kharab hai. Inka dekhu ya zindagi ki gaadi dhakelu? Why do we forget our government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Our netas are elected by us!!!!!!

Are we that thick-skinned, that our hearts don’t break on seeing a child mopping the floor? A poor woman being beaten to death by her in-laws? A man killed for simply doing his job honestly?

What exactly should I be proud of as an Indian? We say India has suffered from brain drain, notably to US. Here in US, the kind of Indians I have met, makes me regret being born as one. Either they are trying to take advantage of each other or are busy making others’ life miserable. Proud at earning in dollars and bad mouthing the very hand that feeds them. Bringing in aged parents to simply baby-sit their kids and do house-keeping while they go about their lives. Sad!

Ofcourse India is not just these people. Happily there are those of us who are trying to keep the Indian flag flying high. Those of us who have tried to remain true to our culture while embracing modern values. A few of us make me feel there’s hope. They know the true value of tehzeeb (manners), laaj (honour), satya vachan (truth). They struggle amongst the crowd but are still flying high. Still the voice of reason, empathy, and patience.

Today on our republic day, I pray that these good men and women get strength to fight the moral corruption in our country and vanquish it. Maybe then we will conquer all else. Amen! Jai Ho!

Toonpur – yikes!!! TMK- super yikes!!!

Got a really looong weekend thanks to the second snow storm…This one was huge…Have never seen so much snow in my life…We got about 30 inches!!! I enjoyed it inside no snowman for me, thank you very much! Luckily this time the parking lot was cleared by the maintenance as snow shovel would simply not work!!! So no broken backs!

Temperatures are now near 6 – 10 degree F in the morning. Do not look forward to standing at the bus stop early morning!!! Looks like I will have to get meself some hotwheels.

Long weekend! Snowed in! No where to go! Ergo watch movies…loads of it!!!!

Caught up on Tees Mar Khan, Toonpur ka Super hero and gonna watch Phas gaye re Obama in a while!

About these two movies what can one say except why do we even bother? Akshay Kumar needs to break out of his screaming hysterics mode. It was cute in Hera Pheri, adorable in Heyy Baby. The movie that actually made him work for me as a hero was Namastey London where for the most part he keeps his mouth shut and uses his eyes to communicate.. That was hot baby!

He has certainly lost the plot once again! His Houseful, Singh is King, Khatta Meetha and now TMK are all shove-it-down-the-drain types.

TMK does not feel like a typical Farah Khan movie. While both her previous movies were nonsense for content, there was a style and an oomph which carried interest. I for one could watch OSO, and Main Hoon Na more than once. (On DVD/TV of course, wouldn’t waste money on expensive tickets).

TMK has no story whatsoever. The thefts are harebrained or should I say bird-brained. Katrina’s role was just that, bird brains. And boy was she perfect in it. Katrina is a perfect example of how we go for looks rather than talent. She is perfect face for the Barbie doll, she is that plastic! Here however she had little to do except run out of the scene!

Lets not get talking about direction. For it was quite directionless. At one point it was pure mayhem. Reminded me of Housefull where everyone was running around and no one knew why. Did someone ghost direct TMK?

So those who haven’t watched this movie, please don’t!

Toonpur ka superhero was another let down. I can not say Ajay Devgan or Kajol were at fault. They did their jobs impeccably. The animation was a total letdown. The voiceovers were horrendous. They could have gone places with proper actors lending voice and actually emoting the lines. The scenes were always a little dark and characters looked totally out-of-place.

What is good about the movie was the originality of the story and the attempt at humor. Not Gappi but Big Ben. Everybody had some sort of gun, so Ajay has “Dev” gun! The lines were funny but the humor was completely lost due to bad voice overs. They story line was extremely clever, involving game levels in a story was a brain wave. The writer needs some encouragement and bigger budget. Next time Mr Producer pay attention to finer details.

To get rid of the bad taste left due to these movies, watched Transformers. Again! I always get hooked onto these movies no matter how many times I watch it. Terminator, Independence Day are movies I would watch again and again and I am not even an action girl. Give me British comedy any time.

My child...My inspiration...

I recently read an article in Daily Mail, London, where a woman laments about how tough it is to handle her son..It often drives her to madness and at times she hates him for it.

I kind of understand where her emotions come from. Our lives are so stretched, our time limited, our interests varied that it takes a simple shoe tear to make us fly off the handle. Add a naughty child to that, and you have a recipe for a breakdown. Tough on mothers’ today, especially on working mothers. I dare not think of the single mom.

Of course my daughter drives me mad. Especially now that she attends full-time school. She chooses her own dress, her shoes, even her clips. Of course it will be the wrong choice for the weather. She wants to wear a sleeveless in 30F. Exasperating to say the least!

But this little girl has also shown me new paths. She has inspired me to better myself (if only to set an example).

She inspired me to start designing and making new dresses for her. A skill I never thought I possessed. To go with the outfit, a gal always needs the right accessories. So I have ventured to jewellery making. Now neither sewing nor jewellery making was something I ever thought I would do. Nor would I do it for money. The pleasure on her face when she likes her new dress and the matching necklace, earring, bracelet set, is something to die for.

This holiday season, she made me ultimately do something I always wanted to but was too lazy to attempt. I actually wrote and printed a book for her. Her class was discussing various holidays around the world. Aditi wrote about Diwali, India’s festival of lights. Her teacher wrote to ask if we had any books or decorations to share with the class so they would understand the concept better.

I ran to all the book stores and of course none of them had any book available. Some of us were cheap enough to buy the available book, use it and return it. So the shops stopped carrying the books at site and you could only pre-order it. So after running pillar to post I thought what the heck why not simply make up a story like we normally do.

Thanks to MS Powerpoint, I managed to create a story book with Aditi as the heroine. I saw the pride on her face when her parents walked into her classroom. I read the book aloud and later gifted it to the class.

I am really thankful to my daughter. Usually we parents teach our children things. In my case, my daughter is teaching me to learn new things, build new skills, chart out a different path. Generally I wouldn’t have done any of this. Although I have always wanted to write a book, I never actually sat down to it, until my daughter warranted it.

Thank you Aditi.

And to all other parents, in case you need a book on Diwali to share, let me know I will forward it to you, free of course. It’s high time we spread some good things about India.

New York….An empire state of mind…

This Christmas I was quite determined to be in New York City…I have been to NYC before, also on Christmas. Trodded down to Rockefeller Centre and through TimesSquare. It is always electric.

This time I wanted to see the Holiday Lights. Its akin to visiting various Durga Puja / Ganesh Pandals in India to see what decorations each community has come up with. And they outdo themselves each year.

So New York it was on Christmas Eve.

Of course it might have been better at St Patrick’s cathedral. But I hear its months and months of waiting to simply get a ticket. So we had to simply drive past it.

St Patricks Cathedral Picture Source: www.trekexchange.com

This city is so alive and vibrant. And crowded You see people of so many colors, and countries, you had start wondering at God’s creativity or should I say Nature!

I wish I could add Alicia Keys/JayZ hommage to NYC “Empire State of Mind” as a background.

To quote from their song:

New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York

I will let the pics do the rest of the talking…Pardon the injustice, my camera is old. Bish took very few pics from his hifi cam.

No snow..

It’s been bitterly cold here and winter hasn’t even officially started yet! (It starts tomorrow). The mercury was married to Zero-O degrees celsius for most of November this year. And yet my town has seen only a dusting of snow flurries. No major snow yet! Which is a mercy for all car owners and a bit of a let down for all romantics.

Guess which category I belong to?

Surprisingly, some of my friends from Mumbai have been talking about buying a sweater and Hyderabad has had a 9 degree C day. I have in my 22 years of stay in Mumbai never needed more than a thin cotton bedsheet through winter. I have never worn a sweater during my childhood. And now when I swaddle myself with jacket, sweaters, scarf, gloves and hat, I smile at the delicious irony of life.

Born in warm to very hot climates, I now live in icy cold temperatures. A complete turnaround. I used to look at pictures of Manali, Dehradun and fight the desire in my heart to go make snow angels. Now I go out at -2 degrees, and pray that there is no wind blowing.

Last year, we had suffered (yes after the first few snows it is suffering) several snow storms. So this time round, We are thanking our stars we haven’t yet needed to dig the car out of a white mound.

But and here’s how I justify myself as a romantic, I am hoping for a white Christmas. Somehow, Christmas is incomplete without the grounds covered with ethereal white fluff.

What’s been making Christmas special the past 3 years, is the ability of the people here to give. There is a smile on everyone’s face, a genuine cheer, and hope. Times have been very tough for the average Americans, but the holiday season brings out their best. It does of course bring out all the burglars too. But hey every silver cloud has a dark lining.

I have been genuinely impressed at how much effort people put in to make the season special for the less privileged. Some time ago, several hundreds of volunteers built homes for Hurricane Katrina victims. Some of the top designers were there too, lending their skills. They weren’t building dwellings, they were building homes. Attention was paid to the decor, art work even the paint colour. That’s giving!! That’s powerful.

Apart from Oprah Winfrey’s usual fireworks (she usually makes history while giving away gifts during the holidays), several other shows give away fabulous gifts to a carefully chosen audience. Even if they are doing it just for publicity (as some cynics would say), at least they are giving to the right people. Not fat bonuses to fat bankers, or fat grub to fat bureaucrat.

Nor is it given with the knowledge of giving. During the several emergency situations in my life, I have found 3 types of helpers:

1. Pure helpers – People who help because you need it and they are there to give it. They never mention the act again nor do they go around talking about their benevolence. In fact some of them help and then disappear. It’s been my privilege to know this highest form of humanity several times.

2. Help to get – Epitomised by the greedy money-lender in Bollywood and these days by credit card companies in real life, these people help you in need because they see an opportunity to get something even bigger back from you.

3. Help to gloat – Some people help you as barely as they possibly can, sometimes even when you don’t want it. So that they can go out and tell the world they are great. It’s been my misfortune to meet quite a few of this type.

Getting back to the spirit of giving, here I saw the glow in the faces of volunteers. This glow is that of a genuine helper. It cannot be faked. That glow warms me up this winter. I love being human! I love the holidays! Happy holidays everyone.